Thursday, February 21, 2013

What am I good at?

It's interesting that the week before my 35th birthday, I find myself asking "What am I good at?" You would think that a grown woman my age would have had the answer to that question a long time ago, like when I went to college, or perhaps when I graduated college, or even better, after I had a family. Nope, not me, and I can't seem to figure out why. Perhaps I should just ask the people around me who know me and love me. That would be a good place to start? What am I good at?

I somehow have spent most of my adult life always comparing my self to others. As a young serving one fresh out of the FTTA, all I could do was compare myself. Then I got married to the only man who brings joy EVERY SINGLE DAY of my life. Yup, I found myself comparing myself to other wives. Then we had our first child, and it got ugly. I was never good enough as a mother. This is when I became really insecure. It was a time period in my life that I am so glad that stage is over. . .that chapter is closed! Fragile me has died (hopefully).

So, this brings me to today: 2 kids later, 2 jobs later, 2 houses later, and 4 haircuts later.
I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I am happy with my body (I have finally accepted the fact that I will never have a flat stomach nor be taller nor have a longer neck or narrow shoulders. I have also learned to love my post baby body---2 cheers for me people!). I am happy with my marriage (for the record, I have always been happy with my marriage), happy with my two kids, happy that I drive a minivan (and not that slick BMW SUV) that's almost paid for, happy who my parents are (even though they aren't PhDs nor power attorneys but your average joes), and happy that I exist. I know my life counts for something.

However, I still don't know what I am good at.

I have had to juggle work and being a mother since I had my first child. It ain't easy. It's not a true story to think you can be a super mom and a super career woman. Sorry to burst your bubble. Juggling too many things at once is a disaster. You have to streamline your life in a big way.

So, I decided that I'm going to find out what I am good at.

I'm streamlining, baby!

2 comments: said...

I love this post so much. It was so inspiring to me on a lot of levels, but I'll just mention one: finding out what you're good at. I love the idea of "setting out" to find out, the looking for it. (I'd like to give this a try myself one day. Normally, I'm too busy obsessing over all the things I am bad at. There are just so many). I really really hope you post blogs as this all unfolds--I'm so excited to see what the streamlining brings :) love you.

Samuel said...

I love the fact that you've started blogging again! I have always thought that you were a great writer! Here's to streamlining! Just don't streamline me out, ok? ;)